Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your own life.
I have honestly never, ever considered ending my life. Even in the worst moments I’ve experienced, I never thought that death would be better than what I was living. I am a pathological optimist, yes, but life is so beautiful and precious to me — and my loved ones equally precious. I am grateful to have never lost sight of that thus far.
I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head
and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear
I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as breathing in
I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.
When he met her and they liked each other a great deal, he heard things better, and in his eyes the lines of the physical world were sharper than before. He was smarter, he was more aware, and he thought of new things to do with his days. He considered activities which before had…
My views on religion are simple: I don’t believe in religion. I believe that the great majority of organized religions corrupt whatever goodness there may have been in the original beliefs they were founded upon. I believe a great deal of the evil in today’s world is born of religion and, in particular, evangelical sects. That said, I have nothing against those who practice their chosen religion in a way which is respectful of those around them. In fact, I have a great deal of respect for people who manage to practice and study their religion of choice while still remaining open-minded to the world at large. They are too few and far between.
This question isn’t about theology, but I will say that don’t know if there is a god. I don’t know that there is NOT a god. I don’t know that there is “one true” religion or deity. I am not interested in having those arguments with anyone, pretty much ever, not even with myself, and so I live the best way that I know how and hope that if some greater being is judging me, they have similar values to my own. If not, I guess I hope they’re benevolent.
“Trying to feel secure by establishing an identity as a “we” only creates addiction and inner impoverishment. It causes us to neglect the deep, silent springs of vitality inside us and the simple truth of our experience, which often emerges most powerfully in moments when we are not involved in “relating” at all. No matter how close to another person we may be, part of us is radically and forever alone and, in its own way, wild and free. If we use a relationship to deny this, it can only be superficial or distorted, for it will not be aligned with reality.”—John Welwood (via juliavickerman)
I drink socially. I enjoy it. The first time I drank alcohol, I was 14 — which seems about average. I never over-did it to the point of frightening myself or loved ones, though I enjoyed myself greatly during my college years and I have employed voluntary times of abstinence from alcohol use. I enjoy whisky, I enjoy wine, I enjoy beer, but I am past the point where I go out with the intention of getting wasted. Few things scare me more than drinking and driving, but thankfully, I no longer drive.
I haven’t done an illicit drug in years. I tried those I was curious about when I was young, but I have always been a cautious person when it comes to bodily harm — and I’ve never had any illusions about the fact that some drugs can and often cause bodily harm. I am, in general, not very judgmental about recreational drug use by others. It’s simply not what I choose to do with my money or time. Perhaps I risk-take in other ways. Overall, I think many drugs are taken too seriously and approached in the wrong manner. The government’s efforts on the whole are mismanaged and misplaced in their focus. I certainly don’t think jails should be chock-full of marijuana dealers. But I’m not willing to risk my prosperity or career to indulge in it either. Some of this sounds flip, but outside of pot, drugs are not a joke to me. It’s something I don’t even consider in my world, having watched too many succumb accidentally-on-purpose to a wasteful death.
I was panicked for a moment because the image was still a thumbnail and I saw Marilyn (which I guess would simulate short-sightedness, now that I think of it). I was all, “Noooooo! I have perfect vision! What is wrong with this internet that it thinks I have vision issues?” And then I clicked on the image and realized that I’m just dense, not short-sighted.
I try not to have long-term goals that are overly specific. I feel like specificity only has short-term value on the personal level — long-term that kind of goal can feel strangling and limiting. That said, I do have some general hopes and dreams:
1. To own a home of some sort. House boat, trailer, mansion — doesn’t matter. A place to live and some land/water to have it upon. Ok, fine, I don’t want a mansion. But I’m flexible on everything else. Right now, I imagine it to be a warehouse with performance and artist space. 2. A partner and a relationship which functions, grows, and flourishes with time. Ideally, this would be with Kevin, but that is contingent upon our relationship continuing to function, grow, and flourish. 3. Holding a job/career/position in society which is both personally gratifying and somehow positively effecting the rest of the world (most likely on the small scale, person-to-person). 4. Raising a child or children. 5. Making art and putting it out for public consumption. 6. Constantly thinking, growing, learning, and evolving. 7. Adventuring and traveling as much as financially possible.