• Poor grammar and spelling. I am not a nit-picker, as I used to be, and I willfully ignore some rules of grammar that I find irritating or cumbersome. That said, overall, I am still far too observant of English language rules to be friends with most people. Hah! No, really, what it means is that I hide their FaceBook posts and don’t read their blogs. We can still be buds in real life.
• When you put on a coat over other long layers and the sleeves get all bunched up around your elbows. HOLY HELL, I hate this feeling.
• Roommates who leave the kitchen messy. Lots of other things are fine getting a mess, but man, I cannot abide a messy kitchen.
• When people order a large-sized cappuccino, don’t understand that a macchiato is a drink not a flavoring, or use the terminology for sizing or drinks that are served at a certain large coffee chain.
And that’s pretty much all I can think of at the moment.
Day 8 - Three things that you want to say to three different people
To be frank, there isn’t much that I could say here that I wouldn’t (or don’t already) say to the people in my life. I guess there are occasions where I bite my tongue because no good can come of opening my mouth — but then why would I put those things on the internet for public consumption? So what I’m saying is, these letters likely won’t be very interesting. Without further explication…
1. Sometimes I wish that things would have been different between us, but that would require you and I to be different people, which I suppose negates the point. We had a lot of fun together, and grew a lot as a pair, but I recognize now how unhealthy our relationship was and how stagnated we were. Your friendships now illustrate that you only desire that intense, almost co-dependent type of connection, which I simply cannot muster any longer. Some days I hope you are happy and other days I hope you are miserable, but mostly, I hope that someday I won’t think of you anymore.
2. Your bad behavior is pushing all of the best people out of your life.
3. I’m sorry that I couldn’t quit smoking, not even in your memory. I’m sorry that if I get hit by a truck tomorrow, my lungs won’t go to someone who needed them as badly as you did. I’m sorry that your life was cut short, and that we didn’t get to see you blossom further in this world that was always brighter with you in it. I am happy to report, however, that my hair is as red as red can be. Every time I dye it, I think of you and hope that your soul, your energy is cavorting somewhere delightfully happy and full and well. Soon enough, the color will change, but I promise to keep thinking of you and trying to emulate your enthusiasm, honesty, inner beauty, and strength.
Day 7 - Do you read? What are your favorite books?
Oh yes, I read.
My favorite books are by my favorite authors: Kurt Vonnegut, Ray Bradbury, and Tom Robbins. Of course, I like a great deal of other authors, too. I recently enjoyed “The Red Tent,” I really love Eugenides, at least all I’ve read so far, and one of my lesser-known favorites is Thisbe Nissen (whose short story collection has been a love for over 8 years; I re-read it often). I just bought some Pynchon, which I am excited about, too. I usually prefer fiction to non, but I’ve been picking up $0.49 copies of a few autobiographies, biographies, etc. at the Goodwill if there is a person or event of interest.
Actually, feel free to recommend authors or books to me if you love them. New, old, anything compelling and rich and irreverent is ok. In particular, I feel as though I’m lacking in female writers in my collection… which is sad, because I am one.
Day 6 - What band or musician is most important to you?
The true answer to this question is Hoots & Hellmouth and Northern Liberties — because Hoots & Hellmouth contains some of my best friends and has given me amazing memories, and my partner is a member of Northern Liberties.
If you’re asking more generally, as in what musician or band I’ve never met is most important to me, I would probably given yet another asshole answer that is multi-fold:
• Bjork for opening my mind and giving me strength as a late teenager • Willie Nelson for everything • Wanda Jackson for showing me how to be a bad “good girl” • Madonna for all those roller-skating routines we did together from age 9-12 • Le Tigre (yes, I was late to the Kathleen Hanna party) for making me dance • Radiohead for making me think • Talking Heads for spurring my imagination and creativity • Regina Spektor for all the roadtrips from NC to DE and back • Patsy Cline and John Denver for allowing my mother to cover their songs every night when I went to sleep
1. A country in Asia. 2. A country in South America (in particular, one which grows coffee… so Brazil or Colombia). 3. A Central American coffee farm — Costa Rica would be effing incredible. 4. I have never been to Canada and I have friends there, as well as it being a “neighbor” to my own country, thus: Canada. 5. The Gulf Coast states, which I haven’t visited at all: Lousiana, Texas, Alabama.
The first two are very vague because I would like to visit all of the continents and am not picky about which countries since I would really enjoy visiting all of them. Setting my goals at “travel to all countries of the world” seemed steep for one lifetime, so I generalized it to “visit all seven continents” and we’ll go from there. I am in general so jazzed on any travel whatsoever that this kind of list is nearly impossible for me to construct. If I had the opportunity, I’d go anywhere! Also, a lot of my travel desires are coffee-related because I’ve been thinking a lot about the source of my entire career. In particular, I think I’d like to visit the farms of Aida Batlle in El Salvador. She’s incredible and grows such beautiful coffees. I’ve also heard from others that she’s a lovely human.
I chose the online moniker “janeanger” when I was a sophomore English major at the University of Delaware. The year was 2002. I chose it after recently enrolling in a women’s lit class. One of the first authors we studied was a person (most likely a woman, but there is no absolute answer to this question) who published under the name of Jane Anger. The name is likely a pseudonym, meant to be both “every woman” and also convey emotion, but Anger was a common English surname of the time and could have easily been a given name. Nothing is known about the author beyond this name, but most scholars guess that, if a woman, she was well educated and of the upper class. Only one work survives, of which one copy is extant; Anger wrote in response to Thomas Orwin’s Boke HIs Surfeit in Love, and argued mainly that men only viewed women as sexual objects and had no use for them after they were sated in that regard.
I was a young woman, just beginning to dip my toe into women’s studies classes and spread my baby feminist wings, so this resonated with me. I had been searching for a name which fit me and felt right, and I’d had many by that point, but after I took the name “janeanger” either I matured and stopped changing my screenname every three days, or it just fit so well that I never considered anything else again. I liked that the name was general — Jane — and also fiery. I also liked the story of Jane Anger the author and what she had done in 16th century England. Here we are, nearly 10 years later.
I have, from time to time, attempted to publish anonymously under other names and found them all profoundly lacking. Eventually, I realized that I had become janeanger — at least in the online worlds I inhabited (and they were many) — and whether people from my real life could see it or not, because I never kept it a secret, I wanted no other name associated with my writings. If you Google “janeanger,” no spaces, most of what you will find was me at some point… some of it’s terribly embarrassing, so please bear with the younger me if you decide to explore any of it.
10:20 a.m. — Kevin woke me up around this time and informed me that if I wanted to go to brunch, we should get moving now. I jumped in the shower, did my hair and make-up, and we were ready around the same time. Kev drove us to Honey’s Sit-n-Eat, which I adore, and I had two eggs over medium, potato latke, challah toast, and veggie sausage. He had the frito pie, which you really have to see to understand. On the way home, we stopped at the giant Asian grocery mart, where I was able to procure the majority of the items for our dinner.
12:30 p.m. — We get home from our various grocery store visits (the Asian mart didn’t have yogurt for the curry) and I set up the slow cooker and begin prepping for dinner. Chop garlic, chop fresh ginger. The smells, oh, the smells. I like to keep an eye on things for the first hour or two when slow-cooking, so I take my time and futz around on OpenDiary, Tumblr, and FaceBook for a bit.
2:30 p.m. — I decide that it is time to get out of the house again. Kevin is in the back workshop building a tattoo machine for a friend, so I give him a kiss in between loud machine operations and head out to the post office. I’ve been doing an art pen pal exchange with my friend from Charlotte, Wade, so I want to get my drawing off to him. From the post office, I walk up to the bus, which I take into Northern Liberties, where I work.
3:15 p.m. — I hit the Pink Dolphin for sparkly water and cigarettes and then head over to Genesis nail salon for a well-deserved manicure. I don’t work today or tomorrow, so I won’t fuck up the manicure for at least that long whilst making cappuccinos.
4:00 p.m. — I LOVE YOU, GENESIS NAIL SALON. Someone rubbed my back and neck while my nails dried! Very much worth $20 (including tip). I am feeling pretty damn good when I arrive at my work to visit co-workers, Jeanne and Sarah. I haven’t seen Jeanne in awhile because we haven’t been working shifts together, so I visit for awhile and nom on some fruit salad and drink delicious Stumptown coffee. I attempt the Wednesday crossword until Rayne (another co-worker) arrives at the shop as well and we discuss the April schedule and work gossip for a bit.
6:45 p.m. — I decide it’s time to head back to the house and see to my food. Kevin calls while I am on the bus to tell me that my 5-hour timer went off and he checks on liquid level, etc. All looks good.
7:15 p.m. — Arrive home to Bitchslicer (our “roommate’s” band) getting ready to practice. The cat is overjoyed to see me, but I am preoccupied with the food, which needs a little attention as well. I add liquid, add chickpeas and cauliflower, and prep more broth just in case it dries up again.
7:35 p.m. — Sit down to begin this very entry. The cat promptly puts herself upon my lap and over one arm, making typing difficult. Ah well, you’ve got to love her.
9:00 p.m. — After fucking around on the internet and listening to band practice, we sit down to eat our curry. Verdict: delicious, but I would use an entire additional can (another 1/2 cup) of masaman curry to get it really spicy and wonderful. We are spice addicts; what can I say? I also decided, while dinner was finishing, to make pretzels tonight. Recipe says 2.5-3 hours, so I guess I’ll be up for awhile. I also take a minute to track my caloric intake and excercise via SparkPeople, which I am mildly interested in for mostly sociological reasons. Plus, it’s interesting to see what the calories of my usual meals are. I’m finding that I had some misunderstandings, which is also interesting. I’m not putting in those pretzels though; they’re a freebie, motherfuckers!
Since I actually want to finish this monster of a post, I will stop recounting as things happen right now and let you know that the rest of my night will consist of:
• writing • making those pretzels • listening to metal waft out from the studio • cleaning my closet • changing the kitty litter
And then, finally, canoodling with my boyfriend until we fall asleep.
I bet you can guess which list is likes and which is dislikes without me labeling them.
1. Bonfires. 2. Flea markets, antique malls and thrift stores. 3. Down comforters. 4. A really perfect cappuccino. 5. Leather boots. 6. The smell of the beach, basil, cilantro, sandalwood, vetiver, anise, my mother, the cologne worn by my first love. 7. That one bus driver who does the early morning driving for route 57. 8. Warm weather! 9. Excellent cheese. 10. Chalkboard paint on random walls, chalk included, especially when they do it in bathrooms at bars (like Cantina).
1. The smell of gasoline. 2. Crappy coffee (and/or asshole baristas who serve it). 3. Cleaning the litter box. 4. Keeping up with the Joneses. 5. People who pull out their smartphones in social situations. 6. Unnecessary rudeness. 7. Assumptions. 8. When I fuck up someone’s pronoun or accidentally use gender-normative language inappropriately. Sure, it’s not malicious on my part, but it’s definitely awkward and guilt-inducing. 9. Cold feet and wearing socks. Ugh. 10. Internet arguments.